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Listen to Our Services – June 5th, 2011 “When More is Less”

Scott Grey — Tue, 07 Jun 2011 06:18:56 +0000

“When More is Less”

Calling your congregation back into covenant takes much courage. Doing it with love, grace, forgiveness and hope takes an extraordinary human. Thank you, Rev. Marcia Shannon, for your gift to us today. You can visit our Mentions (www.oakcliffuu.org/mentions.shtml) page for a transcript. (21:14)

Building Lasting Relationships

jace_donaldson — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 15:07:25 +0000

by Susan Biali, MD

Source: Psychology Today

I frequently talk about relationships as one of the most important contributors to your health and happiness. And it’s not just your closest relationships – the number of social contacts you have in your daily life, period (including the bank teller and your neighbor down the street) are directly associated with your well-being.

I’m an introvert and could happily spend long stretches of time working and hanging out at home, without interacting with anyone other than my husband and our dog. Though I love people and deeply appreciate my friends, I don’t have a strong drive to regularly reach out to others. I’m terrible about calling people, and can easily let long stretches of time go by without connecting. This hasn’t got anything to do with whether or not I like them, I’m just not very socially oriented. That said, I’m increasingly aware that given the health and happiness benefits of time with other people, it’s in my best interest to override my anti-social tendencies and spend more time with others.

Last week at church, the sermon was about three elements that are required to create a better relationship with the divine. Listening, I realized it was good advice about creating a better relationship with anyone who is important to you.

Here are the three points, with my take on them:

1) Notice and act on your desire to connect with others

Whenever you think of someone, or spend time with someone, and feel a desire to spend more time with them in the future, make note of it. You might meet someone new who you really like, or hear a song on the radio that’s your uncle’s favorite, or maybe you run into an old friend on the street. In that moment, you may be struck by how much you enjoy that person and feel a desire to see them again soon. What do you do when that happens? Like me, do you file it away in your mind, forget and then after five years pass by, ask yourself: “Has it really been five years since I last saw Jenny??”

When you feel that desire to spend more time with someone, act on it. Make a date for lunch, even if the next possible opportunity is a couple of months or a year away. Pick up the phone and call them when you think of them, just to say hello. Send a quick Facebook message to let them know you were thinking of them.

2) Spend ”real” time together

Speaking of Facebook, I heard someone comment the other day that though it’s so easy to “keep in touch” with people these days through social media comments, emails or text messages, it’s not the same as real time. Don’t let the fact that you’ve had regular brief contact with someone online replace face-to-face or voice-to-voice time. If you find it hard to find time, get a Bluetooth headset or speaker for your cell phone and make calls to friends from your car while you’re driving to and from work. Take it from me – you’ll wonder why you ever spent so many hours listening to that rush hour radio program!

3) Make a special effort that demonstrates your commitment and caring

Life moves so quickly these days and though we may network or socialize with many people, we don’t necessarily get to know them on a deeper level. As our pastor said in his sermon: “Relationships don’t develop automatically and don’t deepen on their own – it takes effort”. Be conscious of this in your relationships, and think about what efforts you can make to deepen your connection with people who matter to you. What kind of effort would be most significant to each individual? Some people don’t care about birthdays (or actually hate being reminded of them), while others feel slighted if they don’t get a phone call or an e-card. Pay close attention to what other people value, and make the effort to connect with them on that level.

Make time for people in your life, especially the ones that you love the most and the ones that make you laugh the most. If a hermit like me can do it, you certainly can. In fact, last night after a long day of work and flamenco dance rehearsals, I dragged myself all the way back into town to go to a friend’s birthday party because I know that her birthday is important to her. A group of us had dinner, ate heaps of rich flourless chocolate cake, and then went out dancing. I had the time of my life. In retrospect it’s quite funny that I thought I was making the effort just to please my friend. When we’re good to our friends and family, we’re really taking care of ourselves.

Activity/Challenge – Finding Your Inner Kid

jace_donaldson — Mon, 21 Sep 2009 05:27:59 +0000

I read an article tonight that inspired me & gave me pause. It dealt with the radical notion that children should be bored – from this boredom stems great creativity and innovation. It made me think of my own adult life, and how schedules, email reminders, and errands have taken much of the natural joi de vivre out of living. We can still attain that, but most of it must be manufactured – which is fine, as long as we’re doing it. Here’s a link to the article:

http://www.parentaltech.com/2008/06/technology-vacation.html

As adults, we are overly preoccupied with work, schedules, family life, (for some) school, house cleaning, etc., and far too easily distracted with television or horribly wonderful inventions like Facebook & MySpace in the event we do get bored.

It’s no secret that letting loose is good for the soul and the mind. So, I hereby challenge all you readers out there to an activity that will hopefully help you find your inner kid.

(I know tomorrow’s Monday, but roll with me on this.)

Turn off the TV. Shut down the computer. Leave your cell phone on the table. Take a bowl (any will do) and go outside. Not right outside the door – really outside. Go for a walk around your apartment complex, neighborhood, or yard. Look for interesting, weirdly shaped/colored/textured rocks & leaves. Seriously, stop to take 30 minutes (or 15, whatever) to really look at little things in your own little environment like rocks and leaves. Find ones with cool colors, weird shapes, odd textures…turn off the virtual reality, and defer for a quiet moment t othe wonder of nature all around us.

Bring the bowl back when you have plenty – no rules here, how many ever you like is fine. Take a moment to look through them again, all together. You can toss them back out, or give them to your kids to make a project with some glue, or save the leaves for homemade cards (seriously, I did this for a friend’s birthday once – it took maybe 20 minutes to do and meant more than any Hallmark).

I remember doing this type of stuff as a kid, when I didn’t have to dream it up as an activity – it was just a neat thing to do. I often find myself at odds with time wasted on the computer or sitting in front of the TV. Bored? Nothing on TV? Turn it off. Nobody commenting your latest status update? Log out.

The point here is, this costs nothing. It requires nothing more than what most of us used to naturally do. So, if you’re up for something out of the norm – DO THIS! And take/post a pic on the church’s Facebook Wall, or email them to oakcliffuu@gmail.com when you’re done and I’ll post them here! Let’s say, by next weekend.

I’m going to do this tomorrow, since I took the day off. Happy Monday, & happier trails!

Catalytic Philanthropy

jace_donaldson — Mon, 14 Sep 2009 04:09:09 +0000

Despite spending vast amounts of money and helping to create the world’s largest nonprofit sector, philanthropists have fallen far short of solving America’s most pressing problems. What the nation needs is “catalytic philanthropy”—a new approach that is already being practiced by some of the most innovative donors.

Here is a thought-provoking article from The Stanford Social Innovation Review, which discusses the fact that despite having the world’s largest nonprofit sector, America’s social problems persist. This article presents a different perspective on helping to be part of the change we seek in our world.

By Mark R. Kramer Fall 2009

Thomas Siebel does philanthropy differently from other donors. As the founder of the software company Siebel Systems Inc., he is one of a handful of philanthropists who have the resources to devote substantial time and money to charity. His approach and the results he has achieved, however, dramatically distinguish him from most of his peers.

In 2005, while spending time on his Montana ranch, Siebel became concerned about the rampant local use of methamphetamine, or “meth.” Meth is a highly addictive and physically destructive drug, and it is a particularly acute problem in rural America. In 2005, Montana had the fifth worst level of meth abuse among all U.S. states. Half of its inmates were imprisoned for meth-related crimes. The direct cost to the state was estimated at nearly $300 million per year, and the cost in human lives and suffering was far greater.

Rather than writing a check to a local nonprofit, Siebel took the time to find out why people become addicted to meth. After learning that first-time users were typically teenagers who were unaware of meth’s risks, Siebel created the Meth Project to change teenage perceptions about the drug. He brought together experts and hired a major San Francisco advertising agency to develop a hard-hitting campaign that would reach 80 percent of Montana teens with at least three ads every week.

The ads were world-class: With production budgets of $500,000 to $1 million each, they were directed by leading Hollywood figures such as Alejandro González Iñárritu, director of the Academy Award nominated film Babel. The ad campaign has won 43 awards in national and international advertising competitions.

The ads were gut-wrenching: Tested in focus groups to capture a teenager’s attention, they were far more brutal than anything the community had seen on television before. The 30-second spots begin with an ordinary teen whom kids can relate to, and end by showing the badly scarred and disfigured ravages that come from using meth. Teens are shown attacking and robbing their own families, prostituting themselves, or dying from an overdose. In one ad, a boy describes how his mother has always been there for him, while the screen shows him stealing her purse, hitting her, and kicking her away as she screams and desperately tries to grab his leg while he runs out the door.

And the ads were pervasive: Because Montana is a small media market, Siebel’s $2 million annual advertising budget generated more than 45,000 television ads, 35,000 radio ads, and 1,000 billboards in the first two years. The Meth Project became the largest purchaser of advertising in the state. The results have been stunning. Between 2005 and 2007, meth use in Montana dropped 45 percent among teens and 72 percent among adults, while meth-related crimes fell 62 percent. The percentage of teenagers who were aware of meth’s dangers increased from 25 percent to 93 percent, and teenagers have even begun to dissuade their friends from trying meth. Montana’s ranking among U.S. states in meth abuse fell from fifth to 39th.

Got Blog?

Melissa Bartell — Wed, 01 Jul 2009 17:36:16 +0000

Got blog?
Yes, we do!

Welcome to UUCOC Conversations the blog for the Unitarian Universalist Churrch of Oak Cliff, in Dallas, TX. There aren’t many posts here yet, but you can look forward to some of the following:

News from our Social Justice ministry, and calls to action in both local and national movements.
Meet-n-greet interviews with our members
Spotlights of famous UUs
First-hand impressions of various ministry activities and covenant groups – impressions that are less formal than the newsletter, or go beyond it.
Anything else we can think of.

Your webmaster is Scott Grey, and your admin team includes Melissa Bartell, Kimberlyn Crowe, and Jase Donaldson.

Comments and suggestions are welcome. If it’s your first time posting, or your post contains two or more hyperlinks, it will be queued for admin approval, so don’t panic if it doesn’t immediately show up. DO include a valid email address, so we can respond to you. It won’t be seen by the general public, and we promise not to share it with anyone without your permission.

I’ve asked all the admins to post introductions, so you can look forward to that in the next few days.